A Short Reflection on 2020
As I start up my blog again in 2021- it seems I have to address the year-long gap in pursuing my fine art life. 2020 was to be the year I really gave it my all, attended shows, painted more than ever. Well, that didn’t happen. Like many artists, my creativity fell by the wayside.
Or did it?
Looking back now, I think it just manifested in unexpected ways. I think reflection is the first step in moving forward. So here is my list of how creativity manifested for me in 2020:
1. I became a gardener- perhaps everyone has?
2020 was the year I became a gardener of sorts. (And it seems I’m not alone.) What started as a pre-Covid 2020 desire to install basic landscaping against my back fence and plant an ornamental tree or two turned into a year long desire to transform the backyard into something I could escape to and learn about. I learned the term “kitchen garden.” I grew tomatoes, okra, carrots, swiss chard, herbs, turnips, kale, lettuce, and broccoli. I made mistakes, planted the wrong things at the wrong times in the wrong places. I learned about soil and that it matters. I realized where sunlight shown during the day. I took many a work call on my patio. The backyard was my first escape and I found a bit of myself. We’re planting again for 2021- a little older and a little wiser and maybe a bit more hopeful. (If you’re thinking of planting, I recommend using A&M as a guide for Harris County.)
Most of my sketches consist of garden plans or studies.
2. I focused more on my home and how it felt to be in it.
I found myself living a more domestic life of remote working, parenting and beating back the daily chaos of a really lived-in house. I organized more spaces, furnished more rooms and really thought about how I wanted my home to feel. We shared more housework and meals than ever before. Think about how many breakfasts and lunches you shared with your family in 2019. If you’re like me, not many. Now almost every meal is spent with a loved one. My cooking and baking have become my expression now- every meal is a wish for order and safety.
3. Did I mention I was pregnant?? I wasn’t alone in that either although the data shows a bust.
I spent most of 2020 being pregnant and not just physically being pregnant but taking on the identity of a ‘pregnant woman’ and all that entails. The fear, anticipation, fatigue, anticipation, and joy. I created a beautiful nursery which allowed me to feel some sense of control. I literally built a human so perhaps that’s the closest root example of creativity (if you want to get deep about it.) I got to enjoy his first months completely at home. The holidays were surrounded with family at home. He goes to daycare now- one we love and trust. I miss him during the day but I’ve regained some order and am able to work full-time uninterrupted. That feels good.
4. I made way less art than you’d think an isolated introverted artist would during a pandemic.
I didn’t complete any major paintings, I didn’t sketch everyday- I didn’t even journal, which I used to do every single morning. I just… did what I could and found meaning in the everyday activity. Perhaps that’s what most of us did. Just tried to find meaning in it all. I did complete some sketches and art which I’ll share here very soon. But 2020 was not the type of year I planned for my creative life. I’m just now feeling a need and desire to sketch again. One thing I did try is live-painting on Instagram. That I will continue. In fact, I hope you’ll join me and let me know what you think.
So that’s my short list of what I actually did create in 2020- perhaps overall I gained a better sense of who I am and what I deem as really meaningful in my life. The garden has become such a huge part of our lives. Alex and Reid are thriving and I’m grateful for that. Tyler is the extrovert and I think he’d give just about anything to return to the office but we’re both still at home. Working and living and loving all under this roof. 2021 is bringing us a little bit more normalcy and with that I do feel it is time to get back to creating traditional art and I’m genuinely excited to do it.
Oh and one more thing. This art didn’t come from 2020 but it most certainly has ushered in 2021 with a creative spark. The internet has taken many things away from us. Our time, our attention and sometimes our sanity. But, by God, the internet is a fickle mistress and when it gives back, it gives back.
It was a short time, but a fun time. Bernie meme 2021.
Here’s to a new year of reflection and healing. Follow me on Instagram to see what I’m up to in 2021 and to see WAY more art. I promise.